Time Running Out and other short poems

Everytime I try to do something
Time goes by too fast,

In this worry of finishing
I lose the point of start,

I chase the flawless,
but my moment just doesn't last

I do my part,

I make my start

I run with the wind

and I swim with the stars

But how do I move

the burden of my beating heart

I sit by myself

pouring my tea

yet I couldn't find one soul

like my tea found me

I hear a whisper

from a large crowd

noisy they are

yet, the words aren't abound

My words weave this

the story of my way

yet I can't seem to craft

the shape of my day

I forget when I try to remember

things that have happened in the past

like water vapour, fire and ember

they hold me up

up my carefully crafted cast

Cambodia Pepper 2024

Cambodia Diaries-  

So, I finally decided to take the trip to Cambodia I had been planning to go since 2018 after a friend prompted me.  

Back in college, I can’t exactly say which year but surely before 2018 is where our story starts. I had just completed my first paid internship and I had money to spend. I decided to use this money to travel. I was not too big of a traveler back then, especially not a solo one but I thought it’s time for me now to explore things and take risks to see the world out there. I was especially fond of Japanese culture and media, so my prime planning was to spend my money on a trip to Japan.  

Although, with my budget, a trip to Japan was difficult. So, I tried talking to a friend of mine who used to travel. She redirected me to another friend of hers who was a travel blogger (still is) and had visited most of the world’s countries. With my budget in mind, she suggested Cambodia as a super affordable option at the time. And I liked the suggestion of visiting a country with cool temples, rich history and ample clean beaches.  

Soon, I got busy with life, then the pandemic happened and then I started a full-time job with little time to go on longer vacations. After 2 years of Covid-19, then 2 more years of a high-pressure, consuming job, I finally found a window to take a longer break- with my role change. I was about to join a new team and was wrapping things up in my previous role. I had a break of little more than a week between the transition. That's when I decided that it was finally time to cross the long put-up item from my checklist and visit the Land of the Khmers.  

I had also been on a break from solo or any kind of travel for years, so it took quite some time to prepare for the trip with some hurdles and extra expenses along the way.  

But nevertheless, I was determined to go on my trip, and I finally boarded the flight to Cambodia around midnight from the IGI Airport, Delhi. This was a flight around midnight amidst very bad weather & high turbulence. Around the outskirts of Cambodia, my flight was shaking more than an off-road bus. Weirdly twisting and turning, going up and down and simply shaking non-stop, it finally landed at Phnom Penh airport sometime after 4AM in the morning of 22nd June 2024.  

On a nearly empty airport, before the first ray of sunshine, 1 lone flight landed at a ghost airport. There were a handful of staff members in immigration who did our checks, all of whom also seemed to be scattering, after all passengers from our flight were done.  

Once I somehow found the exit to the airport- and with every single outlet closed, I waited around for a cab. Before I could book one via my app, a driver approached me with a slightly expensive but reasonable fare and with the knowledge of the route and area where my hotel was located. So, I hopped on the cab, and we took off into the broad roads of Phnom Penh still yearning for the rays of sun and covered in a blanket of darkness.  

Soon as we reached my hotel, unfortunately we hit another roadblock- that my booked hotel was closed. Thankfully, my cab person dropped me off to another hotel which had spare rooms and I stayed there. Despite a bit of a rocky start, I was determined to straighten out the rest of my trip and have fun as planned.  

Now, let’s start with my days and nights: 

Saturday, 22nd June 2024: I spent most of my morning catching up on the lost sleep in the overnight travel. Once awake, I decided to roam around, check out the local shops, see where I can get decent meals and the usage of currency here. Curiously enough, I discovered that we use US Dollars and Cambodian Riel together at all outlets. Like you can pay either by Riel, or USD or a combination of both and you’re going to get the change in the same format. Admittedly, this was a bit confounding as now I had to use a currency converter and a calculator at every purchase. Thankfully, all the locals were accustomed to this and showed me everything on their screens and calculators. 

From the beginning to the end, I found the Cambodian (Khmer) people to be very accommodating, welcoming and warm at all the places I went to. As expected, the prices were hiked everywhere for tourists but other than that, the people were reliable and decent everywhere. Polite and helpful too.  

Then I spent the next 2 days exploring Phnom Penh- changing hotels each night to stay in a different part of the city each time. Also visiting all the local sights, the city had to offer- the Buddha Stupa Park, Wat Botum Park, Royal Palace, National Museum, Silver Pagoda, Night Market, Bassac Lane and it’s multiple cafes. And most notably the serene boat ride across Tonle Sap River during evening to watch the sunset.  

Amongst the local cuisine I tried, I can recall- Amok: a fish curry with coconut taste, Khmer Noodles, Kampot Pepper Crab, Lok Lak and Lap Khmer.  

And honestly, it was a little too much for my digestive health and then I decided to switch to only vegetarian food for a while which was surprisingly difficult to find in Phnom Penh. 

Then I took a prolonged bus ride, again amidst severe thunderstorms to the coastal city of Sihanoukville. Now it was time for me to explore the beaches and islands of Cambodia.  

Tuesday, 25th June 2024: This time the weather was so bad that I could not reach my far away beach resort so I decided to make a short stay at a hostel nearby. And this was something I wished to try this time. I’m not usually a hostel stay person; I prefer my personal space and the security of living in a hotel. But for 1 night, I thought let’s give it a shot. And it was a chance worth taking. The hostel had all the amenities for solo travelers. The food was great. The commute and transport from the hostel were well sorted, the staff was amazing and there were many other people who were travelling by themselves. All for nearly a quarter of the cost of staying at a big hotel.  

Apart from the sea food, I found some terrific Italian, Chinese and even English food options. Being a seashore city, I also made it a point to try lots and lots of fresh fruits and fruit-based drinks. With a really standout passion fruit soda drink. Somehow I feel, all cuisine foods are great in Cambodia (didn’t try Indian though). Khmer food, however, I found a little bland for my palate. The flavours and spices were too distant from each other so I wouldn’t think it was as good as everything else there.  

Then the remaining days of my holiday, I spent exploring the beaches at Sihanoukville, exploring nearby Islands- Koh Rong and Koh Rong Sanloem- all of which had great day & night life, clean beaches with clear water, ample water sports and diving activities and just enough population to feel welcomed but not enough to be crowded. Amazing sights of the flora and idyllic resort destinations with cozy wood cabins. These islands were an ideal haven amidst nowhere experiences.  

Another interesting happening was when it got time for me to return to India. I had visited during one of the monsoon months but got lucky as I had found heavy rains on just 1 day. However, it got a little rainy when I was on an island nearly 40km away from mainland with my flight from Phnom Penh which was again 3-4 hours away from Preah Sihanouk. Ferries from the island don’t run if it rains. And had this happened, I’d have been stuck and missed my flight. On Thursday, I was consistently looking at the sky and counting the minutes for my ferry to arrive at the island. It was late, but thankfully it did. And after checkpoints at all islands, I finally reached the mainland. From there I took a luxury minibus to Phnom Penh and made it on time to the airport. From there, I boarded a flight delayed by 2 hours and reached Delhi amidst very heavy rains and news of accidents at airports.  

Another little something I noticed more at home was that there is a distinct smell of the cities. As did with Cambodia, probably due to being closer to water bodies. A flowery flowy kind of scent which envelops you in it’s lovely embrace as long as you’re in Cambodia. A place full of lovely people, great food, absolutely amazing beaches and a largely undiscovered territory which is full of young visitors yet still wonderfully joyous and unspoiled by the overflow of tourists. 

Whenever coming back to your home country, no matter from which place- however enjoyable it was, we feel a sense of relief and belongingness to our nation. Atleast I do. The moment I landed back in Delhi, I was elated. I had come home with a suntan and a sunburn on my legs, but it was an extremely enriching, opening and joyful experience. Once I came back and settled, I started missing the sense of freedom with no responsibilities besides going out every day- with the sole objective of having fun. Sparking in me an urge to travel again soon to my next destination.  

Smol Pup smol poem

Just like a tiny stray log, 

Here lays my cute little dog, 

I hold tea in my cup

Looking at my lovely furry pup

Another variation, a limerick:- 

The weather was smoggy

And lying down was my cute little doggy

I had tea in my cup

Beside my furry little pup

And my glasses all foggy

The Dragon Slayer

As the big boy went past the little dragon, he could see the dragon struggling to hurt him. 

6 hours ago, he had set out on a gloomy cloudy day to slay the beast and bring peace to his little village from the menace bestowed upon them. The one eyed mystic had foretold that there will be a warrior amongst them, shining clearly through his crystal ball, who will bring order to their world. 

As he treaded through the forest, looking through to the way where the beast resided, he noticed the weather clearing and almost a rainbow glow flowing through the horizon. At the same time, he felt great big eyes gazing. Almost as if the expectations of his kin had taken shape and keeping a watchful eye. 

Through the mouth of the blazing mountain, a volcano containing the fire fueled by the angst of the beast burnt red. The flames of his malice put fear in the hearts of travellers. 

With an icy cold heart and resolve of steel, he paved on to slay this beast. That's when he realised the futility of his actions and resolve. Alas, the beast was gigantic, and he was not the hero foretold. 

Here lay another dragon, from the village of Newt, who came to slay the large man beast, but was met with the same fate as those before him.

Horsin’ Around

There once was a horse who lived on a large farmland with grassy fields and wide-open plains. There were endless fields of tall green and yellow grass with trees, sunshine, and a lake nearby where the horse lived. The horse used to gait and walk, canter and gallop all day long. The horse ate grass when he liked. The horse rested and ran as his heart pleased. The horse enjoyed an untethered and pleasing existence.

But one fine day, the horse’s head caught a strange notion while walking in the fields. The horse thought that he had been doing what he does for a long time now. And will probably continue to do the same things furthermore in life. Then the horse’s mind had an unsettling thought. The horse wondered if there was more to life than all that he did in his days and in his nights. Upon careful pondering, the horse became convinced that there is certainly more to life than this. There must be something else which would give deeper meaning to the horse’s existence.

In his intense thought, the horse observed the other creatures around the vast lands. There were flocks of sheep, bands of jays, colonies of ants, gulls, herds of cattle- cows, goats & pigs. All sorts of wild and domestic animals were together in that land. All animals were together in pairs, or families or simply in groups. This assured the horse that he had now discovered what was missing- affirmation from someone else and kinship. The horse had to become a part of something where he was also acknowledged for his existence.

Engaged in thoughts, the horse one day came across a pond. The pond had all sorts of fish in it. The horse was engrossed and enticed by the lives of the fish. The horse observed all the fishes living and doing so many things together. The fish travelled together, ate together, laughed together and spent time together. The horse saw different fishes mingling together, swimming from school to school and often accompanied by their favourite companions. The horse saw them living their lives happily and was almost envious of them having a past, a present and a bright future together. The horse hadn’t fully understood it yet, but their peace and harmony made him feel this is something worth pursuing in life.

After many days of earnest deliberation, the horse made up his mind to join the fish. The horse decided that he would jump into the pond to proceed in his quest for a more heartfelt form of life. The horse genuinely believed that if he finds the right fish to be with, he is going to resolve his heart’s yearning.

With his eyes and mind set on jumping in, one late afternoon, the horse reached the pond. Just as the horse was about to jump inside, something strange happened. Something ordinary but revealing. The horse saw his own reflection in the pond’s water. And then dawned upon the horse, a moment of consciousness and clarity. The horse, through his reflection, realized a simple thing. Something which he had all but forgotten recently. The fact that he is a horse.

Suddenly a brainwave rushed through the horse’s head. The horse noticed how mistaken he was by trying to fit in with the fish in his quest for a deeper meaning to life. The horse distressingly discerned that he is a horse and wasn’t meant to be with fish or live like them. The horse was supposed to neigh, gallop, whinny and run about in the fields.

The fish represented contentment and it was alluring to live with and just like them, the horse recognized that no number of fish or swimming would make the horse happier or satisfied. Because the truth is that the horse is a horse. And the horse would neigh and run, as horses do. The horse cannot swim like the fish or live life like them, however important it may seem.

This made the horse turn back onto the fields of his vast land. The horse accepted his life and role as a horse. The horse decided he will not try to be something he is not and embrace his own way of life. This made the horse discover his own individual self and accept himself, his lifestyle as it was. As it is supposed to be. All things, good or bad, are supposed to happen to the horse in the same life. The horse now successfully acknowledged and embraced himself and went back to his life of neighing, eating grass and galloping around.

The horse now rediscovered his lost sense of self and learnt that acceptance sometimes, for some animals, must come from within.

"The author feels getting older isn't helping his growing up much.

And he is slowly becoming Mr. Peanutbutter"

The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino: Book Review

Hello, readers! Welcome to a new blogpost after a gap of nearly three years.

Ever since I had started my job and stepped into the actual adult life, things have been a bit difficult to manage. With my work schedule and my impulse to do everything under the sky; I've been stretched a bit thin over the past few years. Especially when it comes to tasks like writing a full review or article, my focus has been difficult to capture to stay on it.

Adult life can be strange. We're meant to do something, but our hearts and bodies are always at a crossroads. And there's this constant feeling to always stick to what's right as your actions now have real and far reaching consequences. And there's just so much to do out there- you got a career to manage, a healthy lifestyle, a social life and your own mental peace. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this life.

Anyway, lest I digress further, let's come back to the post at hand- the review of a book I read last year but kept on putting off writing about it- until now. Since it's been a while, I may not be able to as eagerly capture and express all my opinions as I could've immediately after reading it but I'll try to keep the review honest.

The Devotion of Suspect X is a novel in the famed Detective Galileo series of novels by master suspense author- Keigo Higashino. The book tells the tale of Yasuko and Misato Hanaoka- Mother and Daughter duo and their neighbour- the brilliant mathematician Tetsuya Ishigami and devious homicide cover-up.

The plot, much like other Keigo Higashino stories is not just about a whodunit. Infact, now I'm starting to believe it must be a well-liked trope for the author to establish it at the beginning of the story that who the killer is. Given this is just my second Higashino novel, I'd say I'm starting to like it quite a bit. Because despite the lack of a 'who did it' mystery, we're still treated to a thorough and fleshy storyline about establishing the circumstances which lead us to the end.

I'd say the story starts off a bit slow. We're transported to urban Tokyo into the lives of Yasuko, a former bar girl who now lives with her daughter and works at a bento shop. Yasuko is a conventional beauty and still enamour the men who get close to her. After a few failed attempts at love and a failed marriage, she lives a modest and humdrum life with her daughter. That is, until her former gambling addict and alcoholic husband finds his way back into their lives. The key character of the novel- Yasuko's neighbour and gifted mathematics professor- Tetsuya Ishigami is one of the people who've fallen for Yasuko.

When tragedy strikes and leaves the mother daughter duo in a quandary- with the charge of murder against them, Ishigami steps up to help them.

All of this and what actually happened on the night of the murder up till the killing is very well established in the first few chapters. With the audience fully informed of the facts and who did what. Even the motive is quite clear and simply established.

But the real conundrum, motivations, actions, go far cavernous than we realise as we delve deeper and deeper- chapter into chapter through the investigation. By the time police discover the corpse- the game is already won by the talented Mr. Ishigami.

The police eventually do reach Tetsuya and Yasuko but have absolutely no clue on linking the crime to the perpetrators. And as reluctantly as it is, Police Detective Kusanagi has to enlist the help of his brilliant friend and physicist- Manabu Yukawa aka Detective Galileo.

As much as the pair is uncomfortable with each other and their methods, they still manage to get along and work on the side of the law. As it turns out- the primary suspect has a relation with Professor Yukawa and both get along well.

What ensues is a battle of wits, misdirection, espionage, meticulous examinations of each and every available evidence and timeline. At every step, Ishigami is ahead of our detectives.

The only weak link is probably Yasuko who finds it difficult to live and get by like Ishigami has asked her to. Feeling it too difficult to bear the burden of the crime. Constantly worrying about the next move. But our amazingly calculating professor Ishigami has factored in every possible probability and put in place a plan which makes it impossible to implicate Yasuko in the murder

Page after page, the book is so well crafted and riddled with anticipations that it's difficult to put down. Which I like to believe is the biggest quality of a good suspense novel.

By the end, we get to experience a twist so profound and unexpected despite all facts shared with the readers that it's almost cathartic. The realisation is so overwhelming that we have to put the book down for a minute and let the joy, surprise and utter brilliance of this masterful piece of work sink in.

But that is not the end. Delightfully enough, even after the zenith of our storyline, the author doesn't just leave us after the big reveal. The end beyond the mystery is something which truly opens our eyes to a whole new perspective and justifies the title of the book and the titular 'devotion' of the 'suspect x'. Before the ending, it's simply impossible to actually discern the true meaning of those words. And the enormously heartfelt heaviness that they carry.

The whole book establishes the entire surroundings and characters pretty well yet the ending gives us insights into their psyche that unravels their deepest secrets and determination to us. This was an experience which I'd recommend to every mystery fan out there and to check out this book if you haven't already.

All in all- great characters, amazing opposing protagonists, plot, twist, and ending. A wonderful read throughout. If you’re a fan of the genre and looking for an irresistible storyline with your mind blown with the utter sense of emotional outcry at display while involving great clever minds of geniuses trying to outwit each other at every move; then this book- an excellent take on the ‘how to get away with murder’ concept is a must-read for you.

Why people actually watch netflix?

Yes, that’s a genuine question. One which I will try to answer here myself but rather unsatisfactorily. And so that everyone knows, I’m a resident of India so all my views are expressly about Netflix India service and probably not as a subscription service or company on a whole. 

First of all, to all the Netflix lovers out there, let me give you some solid reasons to rethink your stance:-

1. Netflix collection is laughably small. Unless you’re somebody born in the last ten years or never had access to cable TV or Internet earlier, there’s a chance you’ve already watched many things available on Netflix. What's the point of thousands of titles when most of it is uninteresting filler to make the service appear to have huge collection instead of providing some sort of value to the customer?

2. Honestly, Netflix shows are the most well-dressed garbage out there. Netflix originals are usually the most soulless, unoriginal, propagandist and terribly developed shows and movies. Netflix certainly has given us greats in the past like- House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Stranger Things, etc. but recently it’s all been a popularity game for them. Whatever agenda/topic/actor is popular, gets a Netflix show/movie. They have become so much reliant on popular opinion that they try to tick all the boxes of ‘wow factor’ quotient, which they believe the public will like and then give us the worst representation of our expectations. 

3. They try to lure people by sexually enticing content. ‘Sex sells’ must be the oldest trick in the book but it just doesn’t seem to get old and die. No matter how progressive we become. The most watched Netflix shows/movies are the raunchiest, provocative and yet mindless productions out there. Either that or some horrible violent content. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against pure expression of any art form regardless of the amount of profanity, intensity or gruesomeness of the content. I just won’t approve of it when it’s done to appease and attract an audience instead of actually producing quality content. 

4. Netflix is expensive. I don’t know how much is too much for you but comparing solely on numbers, Netflix is far more expensive than its two biggest competitor streaming services (Disney+Hotstar and Amazon Prime Video). Given Netflix does not provide any extra utility at all, except few different titles, I see no point of it being placed at such a higher price.

5. Their content management is horrible. Netflix specifically presents the most mainstream and run-of-the-mill media available in the vast array of movies and shows from the whole world. A movie you really want to watch? Nope, won’t be here. A classic trilogy with all 3 movies? Nope, not here. A great movie you came across last week and put in your watchlist? Sorry it’s gone from Netflix now. A slightly older series which was critically acclaimed? Sorry buddy, Breaking Bad and Sherlock is the best we can do. Hey, why not watch Friends? For the 15th time? No worries. Good old Friends. Everyone likes Friends. (I can do a whole another article on why Friends in itself is a highly overrated and utterly mediocre show but let’s leave it for another day).

6. Rationally speaking, the competitors just peddle a better product. With Amazon Prime you get a slew of benefits from Amazon including faster delivery, Amazon Music, Amazon Prime Video and more. And it’s still cheaper than one year of Netflix. Disney+Hotstar gives Hotstar Premium, Disney+, HBO Originals, NatGeo and much more variety of content from different providers. And again, at a much lower price than one year of Netflix. The only thing Netflix has more in terms of content is its range of Anime shows. And I highly doubt Netflix is the go to destination for any Anime enthusiast. 

Alright, now back to the original questions which still baffles me- Why do people watch or subscribe to Netflix then?

Why is it such a strong pop culture phenomenon in the country? Why do shows which are a hit on Netflix become the talk of the town so quick?

Trust me, if I had a valid explanation for all this, then I would’ve provided it by now. Although, I have theories. I believe Netflix is so popular and important because of what it stands for. Rather than the utility it provides. Netflix is synonymous with streaming in general. And a new age platform for young people as a common hub of entertainment. The term ‘netflix’ stands for all this and we throw money at it because everybody else is doing so too. 

Popularity of Netflix is a key example of Groupthink. In order to strive for consensus, people readily adopt to what the majority of the public is doing and take up Netflix. So, strangely enough, Netflix’s popularity is the reason for its popularity (yes, I also hate how it sounds). If only people stopped to think for themselves, they could see how unreasonable it is to actually purchase Netflix. Alas, as long as their simple friends are doing it, people will keep buying Netflix. 

Well, in the end, it’s just the opinion of one man I suppose. Maybe people actually love the second-rate content of Netflix so much so to pay extra for it. Maybe they’re too lazy to find anything worthwhile beyond it. Maybe they just don’t know that much better alternatives exist. Maybe they’re too saturated on Netflix content that they forgot what quality content was like. Maybe they are just hitchhiking along with accounts from their rich friends. Who knows?